Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
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