Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
