his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
