Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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