Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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