When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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