Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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