we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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