i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
