Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
You need a sexual gate keeper
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
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