At least make sure they are 18
Why
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
