I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
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