Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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