He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
