ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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