I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
