Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
