Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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