he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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