THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
