Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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