Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize