Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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