Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
