I think scott just propositioned me for sex
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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