I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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