hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
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