But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
