Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
