Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
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You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
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As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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