Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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