You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
