so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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