I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
