Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
