you guys were way drunker than both of me
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
