Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
