I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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