I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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