If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
