Welp...herpes.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
