shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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