I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
