Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
So vagazzling was a success
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
