I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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