Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
