Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
