My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
