first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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