Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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