listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize