Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
