are you so shy because you have an std?
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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