the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
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