You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
