I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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