So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
