Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(630): View more from Illinois

something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.

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(843): View more from South Carolina

Dude you has no fucking this poptart

(719): View more from Colorado

What?

(843): View more from South Carolina

I dont know to explain this.

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(309): View more from Illinois

I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.

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(514): View more from Quebec

No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.

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(914): View more from New York

Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.

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(303): View more from Colorado

there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here

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(647): View more from Ontario

Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.

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(705): View more from Ontario

I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother

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