Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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