i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
