found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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