after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
