i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
