"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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